at one point in time. Rather, it works its
way out of our consciousness over time.
There is a season of sadness.
A season of anger.
A season of tranquility.
A season of hope..."
– Robert Veninga
_____________________________________________________________________
Two proses/poems that were penned during dark times.....
Hurt/Pain/Reason Enough to Walk Away
Of the way you’ve been treating me,
No matter what I say,
You don’t seem to see,
All the things you do and say,
Have burnt me on the inside,
Sometimes I feel like drowning you,
In all the tears I’ve cried,
Because most of those tears,
Are all because of you,
Of the hurtful things you say,
Of the hurtful things you do,
I don’t WANT to care anymore,
I just can’t help that I do….
You were never my friend,
And here I was, who once thought;
Our friendship would never end.
You’re a/an ______,
I feel like I should hate you,
But then again, I’m forced to flip,
And find that I really can’t.
I can’t seem to run,
I can’t seem to hide.
I have to face you,
You and your sharp tongue.
There is nothing you seem to do that changes anything,
‘Cept your words, that either seem to pierce me
Or make no difference ‘cos they seem so fake.
You’re a horrible person,
And a spoilt little brat.
I want you to wake up one day,
And see, maybe feel, all you have put me through,
That when I said what you did hurt,
You’d know what I said was true,
And when then one day comes,
you’ll be all alone in your room,
Listening on the phone
Having someone say,
“He’s really gone, really gone for good….”
You won’t know when,
You won’t know how,
But when you weren’t looking,
When you chose not to care,
I’ll just walk away,
Away from all the hurt and pain
People will talk,
Heck, you can even cook up some excuse
Others can say whatever they want to
Cos they wouldn’t have a clue,
Only you will know that me leaving;
Was ultimately caused by YOU.
Anger
Anger turned my heart into a toxic waste ground.
Without a chance, without a fight.
Mercy was defeated, Trust was destroyed
Love, murdered, Hope then faded
Out of mind, out of sight
It ruined everything that was built,
on the foundation of my being
Anger became immortal,
draining the life from all my thoughts
and from all that I had within.
Mercy was so weak
or maybe unsupported,
but the loss of feeling, the loss of love,
was the greatest victory
that anger had over me.
There was no time
no strength, no will or power,
to cast away this monster,
that had imprisoned me,
in this poisonous hellhole.
Oh, anger, stab my dying nature
and set me free of you,
stop living inside this rotten corpse
and turn yourself into a spot of dust...
If life were that easy....we would be oh-so-lucky
But as we know, there lies a greater force…..
A force of nature, a force of God,
A force as brutal, as it is forgiving,
A force to cleanse, a force to heal,
A force that teaches, a force that disciplines,
A force that destroys every ounce of ego you may have
So you can fight, you can scream,
But when the time does come, and it WILL come,
No force, however great it may be, stands a chance
For Karma, baby, is as hungry, if not, more hungry….
She’s that rabid bitch that comes around…
And come around, she will. For sure, she will.
And she will give back, tenfold what was dished out.
You will die fighting her, or you get beaten down just enough to learn.
I’d rather you learn, like all of us do always
Because dying is the coward’s way out,
And you’ve shown more than enough to prove you are one.
A coward, a pussy, a low-life, a fake,
A whiner, a loser, an abuser, a trouble maker
Not a man, not a woman, not a f*ked up mother or a b*st*rd father,
Not a friend, not even a foe, not even worthy of the dirt and grime in the slums of slums.
Your existence is a lie, yet the damage you caused is irreversible.
I was weak, so you seemed strong.
You took full advantage, but you were so wrong,
To think you could run after all that you had done.
Turn around buddy, Cos Karma, she comes,
To strip you of your happiness, your peace,
Your lie of a life, your illusion of any love
To take your blood, your sweat,
Your tears and Your ALL……..
When you feel the pain, when you feel what I feel,
When you have cried and when you have cringed,
When you have felt like your insides on fire,
When you have experienced hell on earth,
ONLY THEN
Will Mercy triumph, Will Trust return,
Will Love emerge, Will Hope prevail.
So laugh all you want, smile all you can,
Live the lie you’re living, enjoy what little you can.
For till you taste your own medicine, all the bitterness of it,
You are nothing, no one, nonexistent, a mirage….
Just a figment of my imagination, plain ol' Maya....
What the ego has fueled and filled...
Live and learn....
Without a chance, without a fight.
Mercy was defeated, Trust was destroyed
Love, murdered, Hope then faded
Out of mind, out of sight
It ruined everything that was built,
on the foundation of my being
Anger became immortal,
draining the life from all my thoughts
and from all that I had within.
Mercy was so weak
or maybe unsupported,
but the loss of feeling, the loss of love,
was the greatest victory
that anger had over me.
There was no time
no strength, no will or power,
to cast away this monster,
that had imprisoned me,
in this poisonous hellhole.
Oh, anger, stab my dying nature
and set me free of you,
stop living inside this rotten corpse
and turn yourself into a spot of dust...
If life were that easy....we would be oh-so-lucky
But as we know, there lies a greater force…..
A force of nature, a force of God,
A force as brutal, as it is forgiving,
A force to cleanse, a force to heal,
A force that teaches, a force that disciplines,
A force that destroys every ounce of ego you may have
So you can fight, you can scream,
But when the time does come, and it WILL come,
No force, however great it may be, stands a chance
For Karma, baby, is as hungry, if not, more hungry….
She’s that rabid bitch that comes around…
And come around, she will. For sure, she will.
And she will give back, tenfold what was dished out.
You will die fighting her, or you get beaten down just enough to learn.
I’d rather you learn, like all of us do always
Because dying is the coward’s way out,
And you’ve shown more than enough to prove you are one.
A coward, a pussy, a low-life, a fake,
A whiner, a loser, an abuser, a trouble maker
Not a man, not a woman, not a f*ked up mother or a b*st*rd father,
Not a friend, not even a foe, not even worthy of the dirt and grime in the slums of slums.
Your existence is a lie, yet the damage you caused is irreversible.
I was weak, so you seemed strong.
You took full advantage, but you were so wrong,
To think you could run after all that you had done.
Turn around buddy, Cos Karma, she comes,
To strip you of your happiness, your peace,
Your lie of a life, your illusion of any love
To take your blood, your sweat,
Your tears and Your ALL……..
When you feel the pain, when you feel what I feel,
When you have cried and when you have cringed,
When you have felt like your insides on fire,
When you have experienced hell on earth,
ONLY THEN
Will Mercy triumph, Will Trust return,
Will Love emerge, Will Hope prevail.
So laugh all you want, smile all you can,
Live the lie you’re living, enjoy what little you can.
For till you taste your own medicine, all the bitterness of it,
You are nothing, no one, nonexistent, a mirage….
Just a figment of my imagination, plain ol' Maya....
What the ego has fueled and filled...
Live and learn....
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