Below are the words that were penned for her eulogy, to send off another legendary person in my life who was instrumental in my upbringing.
"To those of you who don't know or recognize me, I'm the oldest grandchild of the fine lady you're all here to send on off. On behalf of my mother, uncle and both my aunts, and the rest our family, I would like to say a few words about my grandmother, Mrs Packiaratnam Ayadurai. This is the first woman that I knew who pretty much sparked off the fire of femininity that burns brightly in the rest of the females in my family. Ever since I grew to know and understand her as my grandmother, or as we affectionately address her as 'Ammamma', I've known her as someone to never be satisfied. From the way she tied her sarees and the immaculate bun she wore, it was apparent that she was in the constant pursuit of perfection.
Based on the stories her 4 children used to tell us, Ammamma was a very strict disciplinarian. She demanded only the best from them, and she was truly the matriarch of the family. Ammamma lost her mother at the tender age of six, and she's been on the path of working hard for everything she's achieved since. She got married at the age of 24, gave birth to 4 relatively well behaved kids but brought them up to be outstanding people. Even with four kids, she still had the desire to achieve, and achieve she did when she obtained her diploma in embroidery at the age of 35. Yes, she was a creative and talented woman, especially for someone born in the 1920s. My grandfather passed on when Ammamma was 48, leaving behind 4 kids for her to single-handedly care for, and she still worked tirelessly to make sure that they achieved and became everything they are today.
To be honest, as grandchildren, we never saw the strict disciplinarian in her. Instead we saw a woman filled with more love and care any grandchild could ask for. Growing up, our parents would leave us at her old place in Pasir Panjang for her to take care of us. And we've only had sweet memories since. Her cooking was excellent, her Deepavali sweetmeats were addictive, her agar agar in shapes of cute animals were second to none. All because of her 'not so secret' ingredient - unconditional love.
She spent her last ten years living with us at our place, and even when she was starting to get inundated with her various ailments, she still had a perpetual smile on her face, not to mention her sharp witty tongue. I still remember when I'd flunked my common test once, and she got wind of it, the first thing she said to me, as she chugged down her milo after dinner, was ' Anantham, (what she called me)so I heard you brought back 4 Friends?' I was lost. 'What, Ammamma?' I asked. 'Your report card, you brought it back with 4 Friends. Why?' And then I got it. 4 fails. 4 Fs. Hence 4 friends. This lady was already 80 plus, mind you, and she still was the sharpest tool in the shed.
Even when her ailments started getting the better of her towards her 90th birthday, she still fought on. This remarkable woman was a true fighter. A survivor. Right till her very last gasping breath, she fought like a true heavy weight champion, swinging all the way to the very end.
Dear Ammamma, you have been a shining light in our lives, every one of us, and even though you are not with us anymore physically, you've left us with an abundance of sweet memories to forever cherish. You can rest in peace, finally, with the full satisfaction of a job well done. We'll always, always love you."
Rest easy now, Ammamma. Keep on smiling.
